lol i'm down to talk about drugs any day of the week. i've done just about every drug i can think of, save for meth, although being in a hot-boxed car of it does get you kinna jumpy. and considering i've done adderal as well, i guess it's close enough lol.
see, whats funny is that during my drug phase [where i was experimenting with everything, shrooms, ecstacy, etc] opiates were the last on the list that i'd try and easily the most alluring. me and my boyfriend at the time would split an 80 in a night,
and this started at the beginning of the summer. by the end of the summer, we'd need a lot more of that. well we ended up going through a pretty bad breakup [to say the least, he was an abusive asshole] and i ended up with the boy that went to rehab, another opiate addict who needed someone to smoke with it seemed haha. i moved to the middle east about a month after that which was what basically got me clean, considering i had no way of getting ahold of opies at that point. which is weird, considering it was the middle east and isn't that where most of the opium poppies come from in the first place? it was crazy, the first few weeks i was there i remember dreaming that i was about to do an 80 of oxy and i dropped it in water and totally lost it, thats how bad it got. but after about six months i moved back and it started all over again. morphine, oxycontin, we even ordered opium poppies at one point and boiled tea from it and let me tell you, that was the cleanest high i've ever felt. it was delectable. but once i was back in arizona, my friend, lorne, just kept it up with the morphine and time and time again i'd experiment with other drugs, but at this point, it was all opiates. i weigh 95 pounds on a good day when i haven't had a lot of tar in my lungs and at one point i'd taken 235 mgs of morphine in a night because my tolerance was so damn high. i lost a few friends to opiates, and gained a couple more and at that point, it was all about the drugs. i'd get high and go to work almost daily and after work, i'd go and do some more. this whole time, i'm seeing the boy i told you about in rehab, isaac, behind everybody's back and smoking with him, usually oxy. and you're right when you say that smoking it gets amazingly addicting. especially the taste, i love the taste of burning oxy. but then came the falling out with my morphine friend, lorne, the arrest of isaac, and the beginning of my heroin binge. and here we are! isaac came back clean as a whistle and decided that it was drug-love and we weren't meant to be and i'm stuck here with a habit i'm not so sure i want to kick. i'm not blaming him, but its hard either way, especially while getting clean.
that is crazy amounts of money blown though, not gonna lie. i know someone like that, who basically sells to support her own habit which is pretty interesting way to do it i suppose. i started trying to get clean about a week ago so i stopped contacting her since she was my supplier and i'd find her business and in turn, she'd smoke me out. i didn't have to handle withdrawls too hard considering a friend of mine had gotten me methadone [which works absolute wonders during withdrawls btw, i even felt high half the time i was on them] but even after the physical withdrawls are gone, the mental ones never do seem to leave. and considering its been two months for you, i'm expecting it to get worse. i messed up a couple nights ago, taking 90 mgs of morphine, throw in half a xanax bar and a dub of h, so i don't know how well i'll be keeping it up, but its always worth a shot. and i'm craving it like crazy! its almost insane how much a small white pill can do for the soul. everyone says i need to quit for me and i'm not sure i'm so ready to do that just yet considering things in my life aren't quite as good as they've been in the past, but like i've said and i'll say again, it's worth a shot.
i may not really know you, but i'm totally proud of you for keeping clean for these two months. i understand how hard it gets and you must be a really strong person [and have an amazing girl with that special bond] to be able to do it lol. and if you ever wanna talk about drugs, you're more than welcome to come to me! i have story after story i can share about my drug experiences and i'd love to hear some of yours. drug stories are some of the best lol. sorry my reply was so long too, we just seem to be writing books to eachother lolol thats how drugs are for me though, one of my favourites to talk about as well.
Yeah I’m down too!! I’ve never done meth, but I’ve tried other amphetamines like adderall and ecstasy. I went through an experimenting phase too, but didn’t get to far. I tried a couple things, but then there came that morphine and the rest of the opiates.. like oxy.
It always starts with another person, because when you first take those opiates, it’s not so fun alone.. because there comes the nausea and cold sweats. which I came to love during the end. but when you have that other person, snorting a line next to you it’s just.. it’s amazing. then when you do it in public, like I remember me and this friend, we were at our university here in abq and we were by a duck pond in front of tons of ppl and we had some pills. idk what they were but they were opiate. we crushed them on her phone and started snorting them in front of everyone.. then a campus cop came and we threw the bag we had it in and wasting all the rest that was on her phone case. we went back to look for the shit when they left but we never got it.
but what I was getting at is thhat the rush of adrenalin from being so scared of getting caught since we were both 18. that mixed with the nod. it makes it even better.
but me and this friend kinda got addicted together, although she never had serious withdraw we did them together everytime we saw eachother, we both spent massive amounts of money of them. I was worse though, she only usually did them with me. I did too, there for a while… then I was using at home and then at other peoples houses and it was just shitty after that because she pretty much stopped, and I couldn’t. We’re not really close anymore. she was my best friend for a a very long time, since 10th grade. but I’ve known her since 4th. I’m sure she will see this, but she might not read this far into it so idk. but we don’t really talk anymore. it’s sucky.. but hey.. what can I do?
damn 95lbs? and 235mg of morphine? The most morphine I ever took in one period was 150mg and I was really tolerant then too, so it didn’t really get me high… but as you probably know.. it depresses your respiratory system and makes it very difficult to breath, the only other opiate I found that does it to that extreme was heroin, and that’s why I only used it once. but yeah I took that 150mg and I couldn’t breath. like at all, so they gave me an adderall, or ridilin I’m not sure but I didn’t know that when you took those together it was speedballing basically, and so I felt pretty good. and I started breathing again. (I was breathing, but just really slow) I can’t beleive you could handle 235mg! haha your tolerance must have been a lot higher than mine at that time.
Yeah I’m sorry but Isaac doesn’t seem very nice, if he just pushed you out because you have the SAME PROBLEM he just got rid of, I think when someone gets clean and they have a loved one or someone close that they should try and help them get clean also.
I know what you mean about that taste, it kinda tastes like smoking out of a home-made tinfoil bud pipe but with a sweet kinda … dry? taste with it. I can’t explain it. but I know what you mean, I liked it too. Thinking about it just like brought flashbacks of me sitting in my room like I am right now in this exact spot and just having like 10 oxy 80’s and just like knowing I had enough for around a day and a half. and just sitting here for hours smoking oxy, takin a hit, setting it down for a couple mins while the nod is up then when you come down a lil (since it goes away so fast when you smoke it..well for me anyways) and just smoke some more, I remember tasting the plastic from the straw, and coughing so much. and like trying to keep my music up since I live with my grandparents and spraying shit cuz the smell is really strong to me. but I really liked the smell, kinda like a burning pan.
So you’re friends with your friend again right? since you’re getting them for free in March?
ha wow, what part of the M.E did you move too?
Yeah like 99% of our illicit and legal opium comes from Afghanistan and other territories in the m.e.
I’ve also never had pure opium, like a poppy or just the sap. where did you find it?
It usually happens like that, one thing goes wrong, then everything else goes wrong.
Quitting opiates in general is hard, it’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through other than Liz leaving me for those 4 months.
It is crazy, and it’s very stupid of me to let myself do that. I’m 18, I still live with my parents. I could be out right now.
I have a friend, my ganja connect, and she is a heroin addict, she sells meth and weed to buy heroin. she uses $400 a day on heroin. I can’t even imagine that.
Methadone… I’ve never tried that either. Things like that are pretty hard to get around here if you’re not going to the dr to get them.
I agree 100% with that. I used to always tell myself before I would snort or smoke a pill “this will make everything better. I won’t have to feel for a while. I will feel normal again” I said that to myself every single time I used. and I would also say “I hope this is the last time, this is gonna be the last time. it has to be. I don’t like it anymore. it’s just a routine. it’s just a routine. that’s all. I hate this” and I would be saying that quietly in-between lines or hits. it’s terrible to think about, but I really actually like to think about it. I can almost imagine the feeling of that first rush of the day, the only time you will feel really high, and then the rest of the day it’s more like a barrier from reality more than a high..
I’m sure it will get worse, some nights when I’m alone I will get really depressed and just like I think about just gettin in my car and gettin just one more pill. but I know how that will end up and I will never do that, God-willing.
If you’re cravin real bad try smokin some bud. I used that sooo much while coming off of the opiates. it helped with the cravings and the nausea oh and the cramps in the stomach and legs.
It’s always worth a shot, if you feel ready. try it. if not, like I said before. it’s not worth it because withdraw is so awful.
Thank you so much, that means sooo mcuh to me. it is hard, and it really is all because of her. I really don’t know what I would do if I were to lose her again. I’d most-likely end up dead.
Same here, I have sooo many stories that I love sharing!! especially with other people who know what it’s like and can add their own stories the way you and I keep doing!!
haha I love long responses! they’re funner to reply to!
